Vol. 4 Chapter 18: The Gentleman and the Maiden of War

Earlier, I took a peek at Ms. Snow’s identity card, and under her race, she was labeled as Undead Elf (Zombie).

Although I don’t understand why she was labelled as a zombie, but, it indeed point out that she was actually in fact, a zombie.

I furrowed my eyebrows because of this.

Speaking of zombies, in my mind, I imagine an army of zombies, and on every single one, they have a body full of bloody wounds, unidentified ooze coming out from their mouths, and different degrees of rotting on each of their bodies.

…And then, I took a look at Snow’s current appearance. Greyish yellow skin, a red pair of eyes, and a pair of pointy ears. If I didn’t take a closer look, I might have thought she was a vampire…

Alright, I must admit, she’s actually really cute. Snow’s personal delicate features and Elwyn’s determined expression, the combination of these two traits gives off a very special feeling.

“Un? Are you staring at me?”

“Ah!?”

Crap, I was discovered.

“Not really, I was just wondering how an Undead Elf actually looked like.”

“Eh~ Then, in actual fact, you were looking at me, right? Hahaha, no worries. I won’t mind it at all. After all, this body had been in your ring for so long. If you wanted to do something it, you would have already done so, right?”

“This…”

How am I supposed to reply to this?

Somehow, I feel like, no matter how I answer it, I will still lose!

“Alright, I was indeed looking at you.”

“Un un… Do you wish to try touching me, and experience how an undead feels like?”

“… Let’s avoid doing that. I feel like I will be seen as a pervert.”

“As a price for touching me, let me try touching your wings as well.”

So this was your motive?

“Your wings are so cool. Why do you have to keep them?”

“It’s troublesome if I spread them out, alright? Putting aside the reputation of Undead Holy Angels here, the air resistance caused by my pair of wings while I’m walking is really uncomfortable, you know!?”

“Air resistance?”

“… It’s something that hinders my movements.”

Even if I explain to you the resistance on my Angel’s Wing is bigger than my Undead Wing, you wouldn’t understand, right? Haah, I will just be frustrated by mself.

“Alright, let’s not discuss about this. Speaking of which, we have already walked for so long, and you have yet visit any of the stores. Just what are you looking for?”

“Un? Aren’t we supposed to buy equipment on shopping trips?”

“……”

Are you kidding me?

A girl like you is telling me that we’re supposed to buy equipment on shopping trips? Which game did a violent and crazy girl like you pop out from?

“Umm… Did you not go on shopping trips in the past?”

“Eh? Of course I did. In the past, there would always been human merchants selling equipment in our tribe.”

“No, no.”

I hurriedly shook my head.

“That’s not shopping at all.”

“If that’s not shopping, what is it called?”

“That’s buying equipment.”

“… What’s the difference?”

She tilted her head and asked.

……

“Even if you ask me…”

I don’t know either. I’m not a girl after all.

To tell the truth, when I go on the streets, I will be in ‘buying equipment’ mode as well. I will grab whatever I want, eat something convenient, and leave. Why would I spend my time looking around, and decide whether I want to buy this and that?

Aliyah and the rest might be able to guide her, but I don’t even have the tiniest clue on how girls shop.

But…

This might be a good thing.

“Alright, then let’s buy some equipment. But, we had already walked for so long, is there really nothing that caught your eye?”

“Well…”

Ms. Snow looked around in all four directions, and then shook her head.

“Even though the clothes in these shops are all really beautiful, but the materials used are too thin, there’s completely no defensive capabilities in them at all.”

… Such a practical person!

“Hahaha, as expected. Miss, you have stayed in the seal for too long. We’re no longer in the age of war. A young girl like you wearing armor can no longer be commonly seen.”

Finally, Orlando who was beside us, could not help but throw out a tsukkomi.

“Really? Do people nowadays like to wear these kinds of cloth armor with low defense?”

“Cloth armor… This term is really straightforward, huh. But currently, they don’t even count as cloth armor either. They completely do not have any defensive capabilities, and are simply garments. Their one and only use is to make you look better.”

“Look better…”

Ms. Snow looked at those clothes and went into deep thoughts.

“Why don’t we…”

Just when Orlando was about to say something, I immediately grabbed and interrupted him.

“What are you planning?”

“… Looking at your expression, aren’t you really clear on what I’m trying to do?”

。As I thought, this guy is a pervert as well.

“Hah? You aren’t thinking of buying her your dark sprites’ clothes and making her wear them, right? You pervert!”

“Hmph! What are you talking about? My eyes have been honed for over 700 years! I’m able to distinguish which kind of clothes would fit her with a single glance!”

“No, no. No matter how I look at it, an elf’s figure is more comparable to that of my race’s. In term of tastes and distinguishing ability, I should be at the better end.”

“Really, aren’t you supposed to respect your elders?”

“You have to love the young as well, you know? Look, my age isn’t even remotely close to yours, no matter how I see it, shouldn’t you let me decide?”
(t/n: this ‘love the young’ came from phrase 尊老爱幼, which means ‘Respect the Old, Love for the Young’.)

“You…”

“What are you guys doing?”

Ms. Snow suddenly walked towards us and asked.

We immediately ended our standoff, and put some distance between us.

“Umm… We were just preparing to give Ms. Snow some shopping advice. Right?”

While I said that, I winked at Orlando at the side.

“Ah… Ah, that’s right, that’s right. We were thinking, since Ms. Snow isn’t really clear of the current trend, we should…”

“Is that so, don’t worry, I have already decided on one.”

After saying that, she ran to a store beside us and pointed to one of the clothes inside.

“This one seems to have a really simple style, I want this one.”

“……”

“……”

Looking at that store, both Orlando and I were astonished.

“What’s wrong? Is this one bad?”

I gulped down my saliva, and then madly shook my head.

“No, no, no! That one is good. Since you like it, we’ll buy it immediately! Right, Big Bro Orlando!?”

“Yes, yes! I will pay for it! You just have to stay here, alright?”

“Eh eh eh? Big Bro Orlando, you’re too courteous. I should be the one to pay for that.”

I said righteously.

“No, of course not. As a senior, I have to definitely pay for my juniors, don’t you agree?”

“Is that so, alright.”

When my hand was about to reach for my wallet, I quickly pulled it back out of my pocket.

“Then, I will leave it to you!”

“You…”

Orlando did not expect that I would change my mind so quickly, and his face turned stiff.

“Alright, hurry up and go!”

I pushed both Orlando and Ms. Snow into the store.

Oh, right, the name of the store…

It was called ‘A Gentleman’s Maid’.

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